I think I’ve finally figured out why people get tattoos. Tattoos are stickers for grown-ups.
When I was a kid, if I ever got one of those coloring books with a sheet of stickers in the back, the stickers would immediately become my highest priority. You can’t just put stickers on any old thing. No, stickers have to go on something important.
Let’s say that, when you’re a grown-up, you’re walking down the street, abd you find this really cool picture of a tiger with phoenix wings riding a motorcycle. Naturally, you think, “This is the best thing I’ve ever seen! I must put it on my Trapper-Keeper.”
And then you remember that grown-ups don’t get Trapper-Keepers, and this thought makes you sad.
So you do the next best thing. You get the picture inked on your thigh.